Saturday, October 18, 2008


Arrows of Love they stab so deep
& with cute stubby wings they take flight
Not leaving us bleed to death but to love
Now tell me Y should I trust the cupids?

This pain is deep & torment so real
But for these cupids they play the fiddle
To make this emotion so blissful n sweet
Tell me Y should I trust the cupids?

I’m cut so deep. I can’t take no more
Still Y can’t I say “NO” 2 cupids anymore
To heart of wax they melt this rock
Give me reasons to trust the cupids!

The flutter of wings, deaf my ears
Ambush of arrows has left me blinded
The pain at heart has clouded my senses
For what reason should I trust the cupids?

Above the cliff of destiny I stand
Winds so heavy, they whisper deep into heart
A gentle push with those tender hands
Make me take the free fall 2 EARTH

Now tell me Y should I trust these cupids?

Saturday, August 2, 2008

The $uper Zero

Mumbai local trains are notorious 4 it’s throng, huff-puff, packed platform & stuffed coaches. The commuters on the Railways squeeze into every available crevice in the train during rush hour. When I landed Mumbai, I had plans to have a taste of this marvel on my own. My very first experience was a journey from Vashi to the famed VT station. The ride gave me a picture, how the Nazi concentration camps would've been like. Once I was onboard, I don’t recall standing on the metal floorboard. I was afloat, squeezed & vandalize. But after the dare... I felt I could strike out one entry from my wish list …but little did I know that much more was yet to come. In fact my prayers were over heeded.

It was a Friday , 11th of June ... Mumbai city was buzzing with life ... more over it is a weekend for all... But we dint belong to those privileged group, who could sit back n sip a mug full of entertainment till Sunday-sun vanishes into oblivion. The stringent timelines had marred our breaks & weekends .The craving for some unwinding had the right for its way...what option could we pick than a movie for a fast served entertainment? & 'the Hancock' was our obvious option. After a whole days work toil & wait ,some last minute glitch in the system had put our dreams into trouble; but once the mess was fixed , we realized that it was just 2 hrs to midnight & we were left with no time.

The only option that we had been left with for commuting at that hour of night was the local trains. So we rushed to the CBD Belapur station and as my colleague got the tickets, I managed to grab a cup of coke. We dashed to the platform & just then the train arrived and we boarded it. In the coach, I kept looking for a seat. Just then my team mate seemed to speak to some fellow in Marathi and at the end of the conversation, it turned out that ... we boarded the train that was going to the opposite direction. by that time the engine had blown its whistle & my colleague waved his hand to strike a signal & jumped out of the speeding train... for a second, it seemed funny to me , but only then I realized that there was some blunder in what we had done ... I was left with two options , alight at the next station or jump now, but we were already running outa time ... mean while the train was gaining it speed... I was left with no choice & had to do it the hard way...

.... i leaped outa the moving; in fact excelerating train ... as I recall, the engine might've clocked just below 60kmph . All I knew @ that moment was that I had to jump, that too well ahead & distant from the speeding giant and then came the moment ...for a trice the frames seemed to freeze, my drink was half way in the air so was I . I could see my team mate on the platform on his one knee & a dog taking nap at a distance ...but then gravity had its part to play! I remember my left foot having a touch down ...the very next moment with a resounding *thud* I crashed flat on the floor .. & my drink followed ...*splash* ... my specks tossed off n pitched just right in front of me ... the trailing wind from the accelerating engine whistled into my ears ... lying on the floor, i held my breath 4 a sec & lifted my face . I could see the blurred monster slithering through the tracks. I picked my glasses and jumped on to my legs... by then the coach had let the station.

Had I a 2nd thought, then never would I’ve dared that gamble.

I dint lift my face up, but through the corner of my with my eye I could see the dog that just jumped from its sly slumber, seemingly wiping its tushi with its waggy tail , yawned & put a sarcastic frown on its face... that sounded to me like "Man you r one 4 legged freak!". It walked a few steps forward & curled into his cushy shape. Though I dint lift my face, my senses could capture images of scattered commuters on the platform gaping @ us ...

In the very right moment; like a rescue envoy, the apt train moored at the other platform. We dashed into the coach ... *Phew* & that was a gr8 escape from the staring crowd.
I asked my colleague : “Was it that clumsy? * smiling * Dint I look like the Super Hero leaping out of a fire ball?” & he retorted: “yeah, but this is the first time I am watching a Hero with 4 legs!”

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Close encounter with the other Kind!

"No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing." - Seymour Hicks

God found that every thing that he had created was beautiful, took rest on the 7th day... & then he created woman, had he done a mistake once & for all? ... on the other side , the aphorism goes like this, God made man & he said to himself “I can do better” & created woman...The most beautiful & intricate among all creations of God is woman & it is true, for each of ‘em is quite a fascinating specimen on their own. Almighty has adorned their tribe with gems like Mother Teresa the ‘saint of gutters’ to Marline Monroe, the ‘femme fatale’ and this is an attempt to create a collage of the fair sex based on some Third person narrations, observations, experiences & first person acquaintance...

Miss. Barbie heads to a Beauty parlor just for a hair cut that Cost her 50/-. After trimming, The beautician asks if she wants a massage...why not? That makes 20 bucks extra. Then the beautician exalts & endorses their new herbal facial package which is quiet cheap, just 500 bucks. Poor lil Barbie yields to the shrewd tactics, Oh yeah she needed to thread her eyebrows that adds 535 bucks to her bill. She enjoys a plushy night & returns back home by an auto. The auto’ meter clocks 57.80, unfortunately the auto driver rounds it off to 60. The hike gets under Barbie’s nerve, Barbie steps into a fray with the autowaala & yells at the driver with her matte Hindi. “Hamaarae ghar pae, paisa ped sae nahi aathi!!!” It took a second for the driver to digest Miss Barbie’s Hindi adaptation of the mallu saying “Ente veetil panam kaykunna maran onnum ella !”. Though goofy, Barbie manages to profit 3Rs...Madam why dint your tight-fist show up, at the parlor? Incidentally after a week, Miss. Barbie had to consult a doc to fix her pimpled complexion, thank to ayurvedic facial package & curses of the autowaala ...*chuckle*.

A priori truth of this era is that, the youngsters leave their nest quite early & seek a successful career life... the best part of it is that, they get to experiment a lot (It’s a new circle, the kith & kin ain’t around).A clear evidence for this progressive transformation is their ever evolving wardrobe & Cinderella (lets call her Cind)is an affiliate to this club. Given a day, she would splash out on what ever her wallet can bear. If that doesn’t quench, the Credit cards will do rest of the job...One day during such a shopping spree, Cind tries out a T-shirt which by chance was too tight to hold her. She calls up Joey to comment how it suits her (they always need some expert opinion).When Joey nears the Trial room; there stands Cind, she was just about to pour out of her clothes any second

Cind: Hey! how is it ? Is it fine? Does it look good? (Takes a pose in front of the mirror & swivels)
Joey: *Gasp* ‘Errrrr...’ (looks around 2 c if someone other than God is watching this stunner)
Joey: *Choke* *ahem* I don’t know! it suits u well ....... but...’
Cind: But ? but what ?
Joey: it is a lil tight.... I mean...U should be suffocating in there ... even this very sight chokes me! ...
Cind: that’s fine; I can wear it in the office, tell me if it looks good on me ? (turns to the mirror again)
Joey: yeah it surely does ... it is absolutely enticing
Joey: But would you dare wear this, once u are back to home town?
Cind: Neva!!! That’s why I’m trying it out here...
Joey: *Aaah* *Sigh* ...Neva Mind!

But Joey had the last laugh, in fact his comment worked out! Cind didn’t dare to make that pick.

Wilma, Flint & Barney (from the Flintstones) make an ensemble. The tweaking to be done here is that Wilma is not yet Flint’s better half, but rather she is his GF & Barney is a friend to both. The band is out for shopping. Flint badly needs a new shirt. It is quiet natural but regretful that the pick must abide by Wilma’s taste. To be on the safer side Flint leaves the first & the last choice to Wilma...& the aftermath, long shopping hours... After hours of sweat & toil in the trial room, Flint calls up Barney (Who was sleeping on a couch that was put up on display) to know how the new shirt looks on him & Barney says “Until now, U guys were shopping for Curtain cloths!!!” Wilma who overheard the criticism comes up with her justification “Those pink grape & green vines with white border looks good on him!” & Barney *Groan* “Aye, You’ve plans to put him up as a scarecrow?” *huh*

During a casual discussion about marriage, dowry & there after...; Cind comes up with her inane hypothesis with a citation. Cind claims that her cousin married a ‘Konkani Brahmin’ whose species is said to have the chromosomes of the Aryan invaders blended with those of a specific offshoot of Dravidian tribe. The interesting part of the theory is that after a few years, Cind dropped down to visit the ‘Lived happily ever after couple’ but to Cind’s surprise, her cousin (who is not a Konkani Brahmin, but his wife is) looked just like a ‘Konkani Brahmin’. Cind didn’t ask for a Nobel Prize but she wanted the audience to approve ‘Cind’s theory of evolution’ where in,a wedlock can beget unexpected mutations. Though the legend of hitches has it that the mental transfiguration is a force majeure, but this episode of physical transmutation is quite a paradox.

The only 3 things below the skies that can entertain women are ‘Shopping’ ‘Shopping’ & ‘Shopping’ alone... not to mention ‘the discount sale’ & ‘season sale’...a few Discount banners can pull a crowd big enough to smack the pulp out of the militants across the border, once the sale is over, the shop is often mistook for ‘Ground Zero’, even a military blitz would’ve shown a little mercy to that Mall. Once infected by the Shopaholic pathogen, complete cure is a remote possibility & the symptoms of infection include sleepless night before the d-day, painfully long shopping hours, putting the hangers-on with queries like ‘What do you think?’, ‘tell your final decision’, ‘Do you think I’ve shape in this out fit?’ ... (even round is a shape honey!!!) & when you ask ‘don’t u think we are already late?’ observe if the face turning green... the cycle is complete then.

Betty has a liking for those ‘high heels’. It requires a good walk from the main gate of the office to reach Betty’s Cubicle. The lush campus has a walk way that has been paved with rock slabs that are recessed; to walk on that pavement with a high pointed heel is of course a hassle & for Betty, it is like a walk on the rope & she always complaints to jug-head ‘Why the hell do they put such a pavement? I keep tripping all over!’ (The walk way is approximately 0.5Km long)... 3 months later...
The setting remains unchanged... Betty goes bitching about the pavement to Jug Head & once the dust settles in, Jug head asks Betty “You’ve been whining about the pavement since months ... let me ask you, changing you footwear or reconstructing this pavement ? Which one do u think is plausible?”

Jug head, Betty, Monica , Wilma, Cind goes to a hotel & at the table
Waiter : Sir what would you like for starter ?
Jug : hmmm... bring me some ...
Wilma(interrupts) : we will go directly to the main course.
Jug: Ok then bring me schezwan prawn noodles , with extra spice.
Monica (mumbles to the rest & orders): two butter naan with one kadai chicken.
Jug (anxiously) : ...and...
Waiter(anxiously): ...and...
Cind: that would do
Waiter (disappointed): Thank you Mam.
Jug: Was that your starter or mains?
Betty: we thought of sharing half a naan each, even finishing that is a tough task for us!!!

On the break fast table at the office, Bluffy happens to comment about her home town Kottayam & about Achaayans from that part of the world. According to her ... the proficiency to become an Achaayan is that he should wear only jubbahs, booze has to be his health drink, he should come to church not to attend the Holy mass but to flaunt his new Merc’, he must own at least 300 acres of rubber plantation and he must eat, drink & breathe rubber and rubber only...and once she starts rolling, it sounds like Blah blah & blah! PS: Bluffy seemingly know so much about her home town that, if she is asked to draw a map of the world it would be 2 adjacent circle one named Kottayam & other Palla. But the other half of the reality is that it is her only bailiwick.

Archie & Wonder woman goes to a book shop. (onymous ‘Wonder woman’, because even in a crowd you can spot her wondering into the space of wilderness; day dreaming! to be précised... she lives a good part of her life in her own wonder land.) After hours of hunt, Wonder-woman picks her favorite book. She bills her Pick & proceeds to the exit door which in fact is a spotlessly clean door way. One shut, with the security guard on the other side & the other door wide open. As she strides down to the exit, turns round to Archie and says “Cmone , the movie will start now”... Archie’s eye pops out as though he is watching something dreadful & lifts his hand to signal, but wonder woman had already turned back. “Bham!” she sticks hard on to the closed glass door. The security on the other side of the door wakes up & leaps a foot aside to safety. Casher & people around breaks to laughter as thought it was the best thing that happened in that shop ever!

A pop-up juts on Chandler’s monitor (during office), it read: ‘Message from Olive – New USB technology’. Chandler downloads the attachment & watches it .But as he watches, gradually his jaw drops in amazement & bewilderment. It was a video of doggy shaped USB that once plugged to the Laptop would start throbbing as though it is bonking it shit out the gadget! The mail shot was in fact a group mail. After office when Chandler sees Olive, he advances with a Grin toward her but by that
time some one sensible had told her that the mail was a kind of dark joke but dint tell he what exactly it was. So even before Chandler could open his mouth,
Olive says: “I never knew that it meant a Dog peeing on the laptop ! , I thought it was just another cute mail !”
Chandler : “Peeing!!!” ... (Chandler laughs the hell out! & flees from the spot before he rolls to death)

At the lunch table ... guys grieve about the dipping Sensex! The health of market can be known if you can read their faces! On the other end of the table, Rachel and Monica would be absorbed in animated discussion...

R: Hey did u know that Sandra is getting married?
M: Is it? What about Ruben ? She ditched him?
R: Haa`, but now he goes out with the gal next to my cubicle!
M: U means Jane? oh she had put a lil weight off late.
R: Ow, talking about Weight, I need to keep this pudding aside!

As it is said Great minds discuss ideas.
Average minds discuss events.
Small minds discuss people.

PS: Though I thought of making a portrait, the universal ambiguity of this much debated topic, WOMEN! Left me with no choice but to put some fragments in order & may be; derive a vague imprint of ‘the EVE’...Woman is what she is. The more you understand; you realize that you got even more to know!!!

Friday, May 16, 2008

The Impending Havoc!

The sky was not bright but blistering, roads beneath were fuming & the unsettled dust clouded the vision, the winds were not hot but scorching ... The gust skimmed through my curls & a drop of sweat sudated through the pores , I could feel the cool trail it left behind as it slithered down my baked-body yielding to gravity. For a moment I thought I was taking a Saharan safari on my bike, but in fact I was speeding through the urban highway when the sun was still at the acme of its celestial ambit.

Last week-end at noon, I was awheeling down the city with my friend on the pillion to make arrangements for his visa. He got a job in Mauritius with a hefty pay, lucky guy ... he would soon be absolved from this vexing urban traffic & exasperating weather...... Owing to dehydration we had to make at least 4 stopovers during the ride & mind you this was just a ride down the city highway not a cross-country. When we reached back home, my shade had a coat of dust blanketing it & my friend, the would be expat let out a loud cry when he saw himself on the mirror ; it was a matter of slight misidentification... now a days u need not hit the beaches to get a tan. I hope by now you would've found out wherefore this blog is penned?

The fatiguing trip hurled me into a thought process...In the lights of a lecture by 'Dr. Carlo Rubbia' on 'Which Energy for the Future ?' I was thinking big,(That is not usually 'ME' ... but it happens quite rarely). I've heedlessly mumbled over a lot of talks on 'global warming ... green house ... glacier melting ... blah blah & blah!' but never recognized its effect until I felt some thing is going wrong. I’ve heard a lot about this Global warming (GW) stuff ... but this time my wits were zeroing in on the GW's impact on social life. A typical forecast on shifts in human society & the outcomes due to GW is what that follows.
The last decade has witnessed the most drastic of climate changes... they say it is the hottest ever recoded & the change has been exponential over the years. Now it would be interesting to note that professionals register punches too early at the office, before the sun starts burning through the skies, esp. during summer & they head home only if the sun has gone considerably down. The monerstrous boom in the A/C & similar gadget's market , significant increment in the rate of rice & cereals
indirectly caused by weather imbalance ,low productivity et al... are also some symptoms of inbound crash of environment balance. If this is how 22nd century is like what would be it like after a few decades? To deal with the scorching sun , most human activity would take place during late-night hour, the working hours would shift to night hours & days would go down in slumber. Imagine jaunts in moon light! those hours are not far away from befalling. May be the invincible science would come up with self contained humongous green houses that can preserve a city from the UVs.But the scientists say that most cities would be gobbled by the rising sea level; NewYork , Hongkong , Sydney , Mumbai (harbor cities) are a few among many to fall in the first wave. The resultant would be rise of cities in higher ranges. The peaks would be too near the sun & the valleys ? They should've become beaches by then. The present hill stations would see huge population influx & urbanisation there
after ... then the history would repeat again , the real estate value shoots up !scarcity of land would call for vertical cultivation or may be all vital nutrients would be then taken in as shots. The ever debasing atmosphere is yet another budding plague. Oxygen parlors would flourish by then ... gas masks would come along with the helmets; detachable of course , might need them when u take a stroll down the street. What about the impact on medical domain ? More toxic bacteria that survive at high temperature , Pathogens & Nematodes ... all kind of diseases follow... dermatologist would be in more demand .. Unfiltered UVs can bring horrendous effects on skin &'then Time' might call for special life support suits. All RnD efforts put for prototyping artificial biosphere & habitation else where in space would come in handy. If at least by then, men exploit some grey matter, the gadgets would be absolute green, organic cells & bio fuels would of course be punctuated. Cars will run on coconut oil & spinach, the residue would processed to liberate oxygen for the atmos' and water for kitchen. The underwater luxury hotels would then evolve to much bigger versions submersible domiciles. Sounds cool huh ? yep ! it would , until you get to sleep with the fishes...A floating city also seems to be a good option or may be some underground settlement that is similar to the city of 'Zion' from the 'Matrix trilogy' doesn’t sound uncanny, if this chaos is what the mother nature holds for us.

Gas-masK; wear it & u'll look like a P!G

so.. what exactly is the lesson ?

With some foresight, buy out some demesne in the high lands, preferably in some hill station. & once the real estate booms at these locations, sell them out & device means to build a town elsewhere above or below the waves or under the strata. Sell them out & amass enough bucks to blast off from this globe once it is all set to fall into rubbles ! idea sounds good , right ? but the bottom line is that "u can mess with any nations , but not with nature"

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

An Ode 2 Life

Flame of life

The Flame of life, it set ablaze in me
Leaves no ash but wipes the evil in me
Like a shade in the sun, a torch in the dark
It lifts my life ever to eternity

The mystery of truth remained for ages
An unsolved quest that puzzled all sages
In the chase with in this psychic maze
Don’t let the crazy pace, raze the soul’s space

Life spawns emotion that can engulf all oceans
These are moulds that contain soul’s magic potion
From heart they sprout and seize the brains
Deal with care else flood the gates of rage

“Ignorance is bliss”, so preached the cults
They probe in dark for a needle from stack
The pursuit of truth is the pilgrim of life
As time moves by, the mystery unwinds

Key to the life is engraved in soul
Treasure is revealed when this key is carved
This cryptic note disclosed the truth
It just read “I am the TRUTH”.

........-Aby Jacob-............

I am the TRUTH

Sunday, March 30, 2008

$traight from Canva$ (Holy Week)

A vague imagery … of the Crucified Lord & Our Lady


Our LadyOur Lady
Cost Of BloodCost Of Blood

Crucified.........(Acrylic on Canvas)
Our Lady .........(Acrylic on Handmade Paper)
Cost of Blood.....(Acrylic on Canvas)

Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Legend of the FoXBaT

Islamabad, May 1997: The sun has just risen up from the East, the morning dew still drapes the vegetation & none, out of his bed...Deep in the Pak Radar network centre, a blip shows up & it shies away even faster, the analysts rules it out as a glitch. Little did they know that sooner or later they would be hit by the inevitable Sonic Boom from the Indian Mig-25 flying at Mach 3 and at altitude unconquered by any air defense system. The Shock waves from the Indian ‘Garuda’ disseminated through the foe’s air space shattering the glasses, rippling the coffee & driving the residents to panic; for fear of an inbound earthquake. The waves sent a jolt up the spines of Pak air defense's top brass officials , few F-16s were scrambled to intercept the intruder, but they could do little to intercept the Mig-25 that flew faster than the bullets & escaped into the blues.
KicK A$$-FoXBaTMikoyan-Gurevich MiG-25RB aka “Foxbat”, known in the IAF as “Garuda; had to bid farewell on may 1st 2006. A war Machine looked at with awe, feared & unmatched by the west; it flew at Mach 3.2 & at 90000ft .The technology was too little to bring down a Foxbat that setout the records of awefactor. A truly formidable flying monster with unparalleled power , had no self defence but relied on its high cruising altitude and blinding speed to escape the enemy.No other Indian aircraft can claim to have flown into Pakistani and Chinese airspace as much as the MiG 25.Foxbats were the loyal snoop dog of the IAF whose exploits still remain shrouded in secrecy.The Mig25s shall remain a legend , though the Indian espionage strategy & systems are evolving somewhere beyond the stratosphere!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Sailing on the wings of ‘Hope’

This is a Land of myths tales & fables, some quaint nook hidden away by the fairies, which faded away in the breeze of time. A nation that still remain a virgin, motherland to many souls, unblemished by the surging waves of the sly world elsewhere.

It was this soil that the poets depicted in the odes, the explorers inscribed it on their maps as the ‘Land of hope’ christened after the River Hope, which stems from the ‘fountain of faith’ & generations after generation, aeons after eon its banks served as a hotbed to beings that loved real peace. A tribe so naive walked this land & ‘Hope’ that streamed down through its very soul became the heart of many legends that charmed the youth of this soil. One such legend was that of ‘the Promised Land’. To some it was just a myth but the majority believed it was real; there existed ‘the Promised Land’ a far-off expanse well beyond the horizons of their nation. ‘The Hope’ was the only conduit that could take one to the shores of ‘the Promised Land’. Many popular folklores were sung about the ‘riches & fortune’ of ‘the Land’; audacious were those who had embarked to explore what ‘the Promised Land’ had to offer.

It is a time of melancholy & great satisfaction, a paradoxical entity with in a parent’s lifetime as they watch ‘the bearer of their name’ dive into the depths of ‘Hope’ in quest of ‘the Promised Land’ & fades away in the ensuing waves. Those who had left for ‘the promised land’ has never returned back, people say that it is the riches that locked away the urge for a homecoming. Tommy was one among the few who left in search of ‘the Promised Land’.He still recalls the day he leaped into the waters & surfaced soon to take a look at his dad &Leap mom ashore, the image of his parents waving at him still lingers; now he see them only in his dreams. He has not yet reached his destination, still swimming & camping on the shorelines of ‘Hope’ he is still on his way. He came across many who left his land long before him with the same motive to disembark on the shores of ‘the Promised Land’. It took Tommy time to realize that it was all a myth, the ‘fate’ ‘fame’ & ‘fortune’ were just obscure manifestations, he knew that none will reach the destination and now he wanted to reclaim what he had lost; he made vain attempts to swim back, the whirls of Hope not just weakened his bones & muscles but undermined his urge to waft back. ... He learned that he had to keep moving ... the optimism of his fellow adventurers annihilates his doubt. They wait for the best tide & again sail on the wings of ‘Hope’.

Time passed by...Tommy is still swimming; He is no longer a boy. He has seen the world, but ‘innocence & purity’, the expositions his motherland had bestowed in him seems to linger some where deep with in his soul. Every day Tommy dreams away of the moment when he returns back to his land, but a noose holds him back; for he knows, it is just a dream...

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Mallu $pirit !

A recently declassified NASA’s X-file reported that when ‘Neil Armstrong’ set his foot on moon, he was bowled over by ‘Mr.Kuttapan’ who offered Neil a ‘chaya’ brewed at his ‘chayakkada’.Until this date, Kuttapan’s pedigree is the only available citation with NASA for the existence of life in outer space. Rumor has it that Kuttapan’s forefather Chandran (may be that’s the reason why moon is called ‘Chandran’ in malayalam) had immigrated to the new domicile when the British East India Company’s colonization grew to intolerable heights. It is true that there is a Mallu in every nook of this universe where life can exist & not to mention that we hug on to our formidable culture; no matter what it takes.Apparently our culture & arts have charmed many enthusiasts & that is the raison d'être for this post.
Quite recently my colleague queried about Kerala’s culture & art forms
*gasp!!!* - *choke!!!* I gave it a thought & said ‘Kadhakali, Karalipayattu & Vallamkali’.

Kadhakali – a theatrical art from Kerala

Karalipayattu – Martial art form of Kerala

Vallamkali – Snake boat racing, Kerala

But it took me a second to understand that her intention was to brag about her state’s art & culture. Her explaination about some Punjabi art forms, sounded as though Punjab is a distant cousin & that they are in no way behind the ‘Gods own country’. Now the need to come up with some counterpoint became a must. Then, like a revelation it came to my tongue ‘VELLAM`ADI’ [Art of boozing, & as a rule it turns into a carouse, Kerala style]& then for the next half hour I enlightened her with the details of this intricate art form. How communal the event is & how people muster around, thin down the barriers of cast, creed, age & color when booze is around! & how good a Government we have that patronize this art. It is said that there are plans to give subsidies on booze to entertain & popularize this art. The long queues in front of the ‘Wine shops & military canteen’ especially when Onam, Christmas or Ramsan is around is impressive. No matter what or who’s festival it is, we mallu’s rejoice & demonstrate our unity in diversity. It surely inspires the youth of the nation to shelve their petty differences! The legend has it that Kerala was reclaimed from the ‘waters’ [aka VELLAM – thus the name Vellam-Adi] by Parashurama’s Mazhu (axe) & thus the citizens of his ‘nation from the waters’ pay tribute to his great ‘Mazhu’ by practicing the elegant art of Vellam`adi & utter with pride “Adichu Mazhu ayadai !”.The fascinating feature of this art is that there is no specific time to practice this artform, preferably almost all days when the sun takes shade below the horizon. Feeling gloomy? ‘wash the stains of depression with Booze’, Heart broken? “It is a Superglue”, Happy? “There ain`t a party without It!” feeling bored ? “Gulp it! Than wait for the devils to entertain your idle brain!!!” & Once my description was over, the antagonist had her jaws dropped ,eyes popped out...

PS : My fellow patrons , the dialogues scribbled below might assist you to take a stroll down memory lane ;)

In cricket if the ball clears the fence it is a ‘SIX’
If the foot ball evades the goalie & finds the target, the audience yell “GOAL’
When you score in VELLAM ADI, you yell

“Aliya , adichu Fittaye”

“Adichu Quintaye”

“Sho!Adichu Konjaaye pooye”

“Mattam aayeda”

“Adichu Cone thirinju pooye”

“Knokout akkikalanju”

“Adichu Pimpiri ayirunnu”

“Vallu mathrammo? oru Vall payatinu ullatu undairunnu”

“Adichu konjaata ayye”

"Adichu oru bothavum ellairunnu" !!!*Puke* *Barf*!!!

Monday, February 4, 2008

Remains of Reminiscence

If the college days are the best, then there ought to be moments that are ‘better than the best’ .Those treasured moments of humor which still fuel our repartees, add zing to our lives & this post is an attempt to chronicle that facet of our academic life. I’m raising this toast as a tribute to ‘all F.R.I.E.N.D.S’.
Achtung! : This post is painfully long, Through out I’ve used only nicknames & anonymity is a luxury that I wouldz like to provide all those whose nicknames if I take, would call for a censorship certificate.

Here it goes...
On $port Day @ D stadium
Sports day was around the corner & it is customary to have our National Flag hoisted on that day. This time the responsibility to pick a fresh flag from the store was on the house captain's shoulder. Mr.Mandan summons Luttapi & Aadambaram to keep him company while he picks the flag at a shop in the city. Aadu (Aadambaram) with an apparent disinterest in shopping or rather, with an interest to take a 'nicotine punch' stays outside the shop.Mandan & Luttapi; owing to unavailability had to pick the last flag,but it was withered. Aadu became upset after seeing the flag; he took it back to the shop keeper & asked“Anna ,ethithae Veerae COLOR kodi kittumo” The shopkeeper & those on the scene literally laughed to death.

‘Kelavan’s Maruthi-800 used to be ‘prime de transport’ for the bunch of buddies; cramped with 6-8 guys, it used to whine all the way from the moment it’s engine was fired up. On a drive back home through the rural roads, ‘Manichi’(as in Manichan : King Pin of Kerala liquor lobby) knocks down a hen that crossed the road. Some one from the back seat cries “Aliya, oru paavapettavante kanjikudiyaa nee muttichae; Locals kai vaikkum munpu vandi vito”. Though we expected Manichi to hit the throttle, he shifts to ‘reverse gear’, pulled over the car next to the corpse, opens his door & tosses the dead chick into the car. Soon the question came! “Chae ! enthuvaada kolapaathathinte thelivu nasipikaan aano ? eesadanathinae ethinte akathu eduthu ettathu ?“ & he justification was “Eda , Oru kingfisher Beer`intae koodae evanayum kooti adichal ondallo ! SMART ayerikkum” hmmm... quite rational! No guilt, no remorse, none was ready to wait & on that evening at Chatti’s home, the chick becomes a luscious side dish long with wine!
Chutta Kozhi :D
During Cricket-net practice, the ball ripped through the net, bounced over aledge & went into a ditch. 'Mr.Parambil' who went to search the ball, didn’t see it & takes a squatting posture to have a closer look into the pit. Mean while a construction worker who passes by, observes Parambil’s poster & the nauseous look on his face & Yells “Chae , Ethokkae public ayitaano ? akathengum toilet ellae ?“

Dress Code was a necessary evil that we all had to abide by. Our allegiance to the college directives called for frequent patrols by the Princi. Our usual Hangout used to be the bench next to men’s toilet (1st floor). Believe me, this place smells like **** & the lavatory is worse than the public toilets. The reason for affinity to this place was that it was located next to BioTech class room & a crowd at this muster station was quite natural… Amidst a regular union, a crackling voice comes from the ground floor “Aliyoo . Princi Varunundae” … & such a circumstance impels a “Pulivarunundae Puli…!” situation… …Everyone scrambles for refuge in a trice, except 'Mr.Baiju' alias 'Flubi'who was unaware of the inbound havoc until he saw ‘ Princi’s Saree thumbu ’. Without a 2nd thought he rushed into the toilet but alas! Princi saw his move. Though we expected her to unleash a tremor, with utmost composure she latched the door & waited outside until the ‘intolerable *fragrance*’ overpowered Baiju & he started banging the closed door. “Odukam; Naatam sahichathum micham; Fain`um adichu”

Albin Sir introduces himself to the IT class & as a preparatory note queries his students’ understanding about the subject, “Tell me, what do you know about mathematics?” Tempted by the opportune moment to steal the lime light, Aadu shouts out “Saar! Ee foomiyudae Spanthanam Mathamaticsil aanu” & AlbinSir reciprocates “Evane okkae Aaaradaye ?.*...*.? GET OUT!!!”.

While touring Kodaikanal, we where put up in villas which were populated on grounds of the experience one had in ‘Vellamadi’(Art of Boozing).
‘Villa – A’ = Veterans , ‘Villa - B’ = 1st timers , ‘Villa - C’ = ‘ve tasted it.
At Villa – B, 'Poocha' keeps his Beer bottle over the bed & rummages around for an opener. 'CD Kannan' after seeing the corked bottle says impatiently “Da Poochae Pottikeda kuppi” .Responding to the call, Poocha makes a swift pivot, trips the bottle over to the floor !!!PattaaaasH!!! . CD in anger “Ninoodu kuppi thurakkanalae ghan paranjollu ! athu tharayil ettu potichelooda mahaa paapi ! ” .The bottle broke, messing the room with fizz & stench; poocha spends the whole night washing the floor & driving out the odour with perfume & after shave lotions.
At Villa – C, 'Mr.Perichaazhi' takes the opened bottle cap; smells the beverage & falls flat ‘Knocked Out’ on the bed. 'Mr.Kulseen'(Peeping-tom) tastes a peg & starts off an abusive verbal spree (‘Theri abishekam’) in his typical high bass vocals which sounded like a ‘tribal tongue’.
At Villa – A, The party is live even after the lights go out in erstwhile cottages, but none were allowed to sleep, as the big guns (veterans) run free a ‘ROLE’ rampage. None can be convicted, for they were complying with the maxim that had transformed from ‘Vellam adichal vayathil kidakkanam’ to much logical motto ‘Vellam adichal ROLE kaanikkanam’. 'Shuppandi' was found lurking around a ridge & threatening to take a bungee jump (would’ve been his last one).Walking over flames (‘kanalaatam’) didn’t seem to be a big deal when ‘Flubi’ marched across the smouldering camp fire. Mr.X was found along with the floor mattresses of another villa while 'Chatti' was storming other villas, waking up every one. 'Vattan' was the sole guard who took pain to herd the wild pack back to its den while Mr.Y was sipping it all ‘on the rocks’ with out much hubbubs. Slowly the kegs dried out , the party ended & lights went out in ‘Villa – A’ but after a few minutes guys learn that Mr.Y has gone missing. Light goes on again; Guys scatter out in search of missing ‘Y’ looked out for him even in the roads, fellows in other villas where called on to check if Y was in there, but he had gone missing. After a futile search they return back to the villa to spot Mr.Y taking a peaceful nap on the European closet.

1st Sports day in the college, Cricket match: Raman house chasing the score projected by Baba house. 'Mr.Luttapi' lectures the team his intricate strategy in which he is the opener & how he can exploit the oppositions bowling lineup. The game starts off, Luttapi clad in helmet & guards, waves to the crowd like a hero. The bowler takes the run up, Luttapi focuses & hammers his bat on the crease...the bowler at the other end of the pitch makes takes his run up,but Luttu seemed to be set for a blast; in the pavilion every one anticipates an enthralling innings from him. Then the bowler released the ball & the next second what we heard was a ‘Bhaaaaam !’ . The ball races to the boundary taking Luttapi’s middle stump along with it & Luttu , fearing 4 his life didn’t return back to the pavilion but takes cover in the crowd.

Real snap from D Sceen [brand new scorp !]

Early morning a brand new Scorpio streaks through the collage gates. At noon Vattan & a band of 4’ mounts the new ride; scrambles it in front of the Men’s Hostel & rips through the road as the whole campus kept watching. A few minutes later Manichi’s mobile rings & a voice from the other end cries out “Aliyaaaa Valichu ! Vandi marinju” & what was left behind at the spot was an SUV on its back, gazing the skies.

Poocha invites Mr.Z over to his house in order to flaunt his latest acquisition, a surround speaker system .Unfortunately it happened to be the day before university exams. Poocha plays the Bollywood flick ‘Kajraare’ with Ash clad in skimpy outfit. He increased the volume to show off what his new woofers can deliver, but in the end what it delivered was a vexed up ‘Poocha’s father’ who utters “Pareekshayudae thalae divasam pilleraeyum vilichiruthi Cabbera kandoondirinoolum !" . In a flash Poocha vanishes into the kitchen & Mr.Z scoots surreptitiously through the gate.

During an excursion of CS class to Kodaikanal Miss .D hops on a cycle & pedals off along the lake side road, with a bunch of pals escorting her. Being a first timer on bike ‘Miss .D’ is having a harrowing time, she had already fallen off thrice ... she reaches a crossing where a rally of foreigners in hefty choppers romps through. Seeing the ‘firangis’ she gets excited .She endeavors the crossing, bumps into the rally & clamps the break in front of a speeding Harley. The biker misses her by an inch & settle down beside her & yells in his deep voice “F* U B* !!!” . For not being acquainted with the European accent, she thought that ‘Saayiep’ was greeting & replied ‘Thank you’, leaving the white rider befuddled.

Chopper Firangi

Then there was ‘ Flubi’ who’s ultimate ambition in life was to be an entrepreneur . Wanted to start a company & when we question about the initial investment, his answer is “Athinaanello da Sthreedhanam !!!”
kar lo duniya muthi mein
And we had Mr Pezhichaazhi who bought the 1st Reliance "kar lo duniya muthi mein" mobile in the college.Over the period of time it became a Public Phone booth & when the phone bill arrived “Sab khogaya mitti mein !”

Mr. Pezhichaazhi was famous for his atypical side-splitting dialogues that he attempted to say in English.
Chingu to Pezhichaazhi
Chingu : “Da Nee manichiyae vilichittu parupaadi onnum ellengil 4 manikku parkilootu varan para” Then Pezhichaazhi rings up Manichi’s mobile
Pezhi: “Da nee eppole evidaeya ?”
Manchi: “Veetilaada”
Pezhi: “So what is Ur evening Problem?” what he actually implied was “What is ur evening program?”

In a KSRTC bus .
'Aadu' & 'Endra' gets absorbed in a loud chitchat. Intending to silence them, Pazhichazhi from the Back seat tells.
“Hushhh... No Smoking , No Smoking!” Though he intended to say ‘No talking’

In front of a SL theater
Guys plan to watch a movie, but confront a cash crunch. With anticipation to get money from Chingu who has not yet started from his home, Pazhichazhi says “Chingu veetil ninnum erangikaanathilla ..letz Call ME! “ & this time he wanted to say “Call Him”

Princi inspects the class after receiving a complaint that the benches are adorned with spectacular graffiti & doodles. The gem among them was the one created by 'Mr.Matha' that would‘ve put even MF Hussein to shame. Princi spots the art work, mean while 'Manichi' bumps into her, Princi asks Manichi “Edo ! ethu entha Ee varachu vaichirikunnathu ?”. Manichi had only heard about the existence of such a controversial picture; being overwhelmed by the art’s panache & that it was his first look at the masterpiece, Manichi break into uncontrolled laughter. Princi is stumped!

Kulsi’s acquaintance with Miss.X invited a good amount of envy & it seemed their alliance annoyed some of her ex’ fans. One day, out side the canteen ... as the duo walked into the cafeteria Flubi intends to tease Kulsi amidst X & the croud hanging around the cafeteria & asks ‘Enthu vaadai ethu , nannai kudae ninakku? ’ though Kulsi droops his head chammified. Miss.X makes a come back with acounter blast “Eyaal kuduthal onnum parayanda , kurachu naal thanum ente purakae nadanathallae” & walks into the canteen as Flubi stood speech less & searching for a cover from the flock that was laughing at him like the hyenas.

Some acts driven by blunt reason that comes by instinct used to be a trademark performance that had left many stunned & dumfounded... but when we replay those shots at the back of our mind it still possess truck loads of humor...
Aadu enteres into Chatti’s Car & slams the door behind him, thus provoking Chatti to say “Eda Piyae adayachoodae door”. Aadu opens the closed door casually & shuts it with care as the rest all looked baffled at his act.

'Kaavadi', 'Manichi' & 'Aadu' practices some flying kicks. Manichi being tall manages to kick high; Kavadi driven by spirits attempts to go higher than Manichi’s mark . Noticing kaavadi’s vein attempts, Aadu asks him ... “Da randu kaalum pokki chavittan pattumo ?” though we laughed at the comment ,to much of our amazement Kaavadi throws himself up into the air with both his legs off the ground & the outcome “Pathukooo !!!” Crash lands on his Ass...!

Vodka ! *Sniff sniff*
In between an excursion ‘Ettu Kaali’(spidey) happens to run into a booze Carouse & he loiters around the bunch aloofly, with an intention to amuse himself & enjoy the ‘other side’ of those who are high. Vaatan invites ‘Ettu kaali’ to taste some ‘Sprite’ & join the guys, but little did 'spidey' know that the drinks vattan served him were adulterated with vodka & when it was time to call it a day. The guys where amused by the entertainment put forth by ‘Ettu kaali’ .He who entered the room with 2 legs crawled back on 8 legs & thus his name ‘Ettu Kaali’.

During the same excursion ... It was new years eve; midnight. 'Chammathi' & a bunch of guys swarm into Soman’s room. For not having had a smooth relation with the guys, Soman suspect if their intentions are to ‘settle some scores ‘. Soman steels himself, clutched his fist & as he gets ready to go for the first punch; 'Chammanti' followed by the horde hurls their ‘lungis’ into the air & shouts ‘Kani Kani Kani ...New Year Kani !’ , Soman watched in dismay with his eyes popped out as if he had to eat the worst blow ever!!!
Manichi, Vattan & Mr.A went to attend an interview of AllSec:BPO in hotel Residency. The anchor was a HR who had a funny Tamil influence. During the introductory session Manichi notices some appealing gals seated infront & attempts to impress them by aping the HR’s accents while she was addressing the mass. When he saw some encouraging smiles for his comments, he tires to captivate the gals even more with his wits. Watching Manichis’s vein attempts Vattan & Mr.A breaks into muffled laughter & like a chain reaction the titter grows into a uncontrollable chuckle. The HR notices them & intending to put a stoop to their amusement, chides "If you are not interested please don’t disturb others". Vattan & ‘A’ scoots from the hall politely but Manichi was still not ready to hush & continued his monkey business. In the 1st round when HR asked him to give an intro, Owing to his enduring effort to ape the HR, he forgot to recover back to himself .He speaks out loud in HR’s funny tone; putting the congregation into a laughter spree & thus got himself kicked out.

Manichi’s flair for striking a self goal, his quips, slapstick jokes... the nerve with which he does it all is unparalleled. During the 2006 jobfair @ Cochin IT Park, interview with the Sutherland... The interviewer disappointed after evaluating Manichi’s technical knowledge tries to prompt some answers from him by asking topics he is sound at & asks about his mini project.
Lady: “Where did you do your Mini Project?”
Manichi: “ Keletron , Mam”
Lady: “So, tell me about Keletron”
Manichi (with total confidence): “Mam . Keletron is an IT company that supply missiles to VSSC !!!.”
Vanquished by shock, The Lady gasps.

College day... Time when one gets to flaunt the best from his/her wardrobe. Most of them have a taste for ethical wear; guys stick to ‘Mundu’ & gals ‘Saree’. But for the last College day some one chose to be different. Mr. Item gets himself some extra fittings & adorns himself in a ‘Saree’, captivating the eyes of almost all guys in the campus & fueling the furnace of envy in gals...On the top of it ‘he makes a special entry on to the stage in his hot but vile outfit. In fact it was a way too different!

V!nod in S@rEE

Guys team up & infest Master-milma’s cottage that his father had abandoned long before. They celebrate at their new domicile. When I say celebrate, booze is obviously involved. This time, the guys feel that their booze revelry has to be revamped. Not because it is boring but they feel the need of a sentinel at their guard & hence decide to call on the spirits of the dead. Milma sets up an ‘Ouija board’ & starts chanting ‘Good spirit please come... good spirit please come...” The cottage was next to a dilapidated cemetery & that added to the eerie ambiance; on the backdrop you could listen to the croaking frogs, the soothing breeze, the vulpine howls & milma’s chants. Rest of the horde was silenced not by the creepy Om Khreem Kuttichatha !milieu, but the liquor had started to meddle with their brains. They were sitting around, staring @ the board anxiously awaiting their ghostly amigo. After a few minutes of vein attempt (which under the influence of liquor, feel like ages), Guys felt bored & they started mimicing milma’s *hocus pocus*.Just as the team slips into a merry state, a gust sweeps by & a weird ‘Khoooor... khooor...” sound resounds from nowhere. Every one recovers back to alert... they sense the presence of an alien entity. Milma’s chant grew stronger & his hands shivered as the planchet moved rightwards. None knew if it was the spirits or milma’s trembling hands that moved it & those who where sipping their pegs, the drinks got trapped in their throat! The ‘Khooor...’ sound suddenly stopped followed by ‘pin drop silence’, then a ‘Yaaawn’ & then again started the sound ‘Khooor ... Khooor...’ . Guys turned around to see the source of the ‘Khooor...’ it was Mr.Maatha snoring away into his deep slumber... Now that we had found out our lil Casper! We dint waste a moment ‘Chavitti avanae pandaaram adakki ’

Mr.V , His father & his Grandfather forms the male lineage in his household. After combined study @ Mr.V’s home, his Mom serves a luscious lunch for V’s pals. Seeing the assorted dishes one of'em asks aunty.
Guy: Aunty, ethellam Aunty Vachathaano?
Aunty: athae monae.
Guy: Aiyoo , nammal vannathu buthimutaayi kanumallo aunty , Oru servant`nae vaichudae?
Aunty: “Servat`nae vaikkanam ennu agraham elanjitalla , 18 vayasinu thazae ulla penninae niruthan patilla ; ente oru makan ellae evidae !!! 35 vayasinu thazhaullathaanengiloo ; aa makante achan undu evidae !!! athinum mukalil prayam ulla sthree aanengiloo ? avante appupan ondu evidae !!! namal enthinaa veruthae risk edukunnae ?”

V’s appetite was served right, even before he could start tasting the food & the guys had a belly laugh at his mom’s merciless friendly fire...

...Folks, didn’t we get some thing more than a degree from our college? “So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money when we look back now, will that joke still be funny?”-Vit.C .Now this is what we are all left with, a few memoirs... the smile, tears & peace that they restore.

                     Oh when I look back now
             The summer seemed to last forever
                     And if I had the choice
               Ya - I'd always wanna be there
            Those were the best days of my life!

  Picture perfect

                             'Find the X Y & Z'

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

ParaDisE Lo$T

“This is ME!” Now the question is what does the word ‘Me’ exemplify here? I think it is apparent that I need to rethink about my life a lil` bit. A few yrs ago, I was a simple kid without any pretentions, ambitions or aspirations. Like any one else, I loved to take life the way it comes & looked forward for a day when I would become a teen. Urge dint stop there; wanted to be an adult ... wanted to know how it feels like to be a grown up. But one thing that went unnoticed was that, with age some thing else also kept creeping up the spine; it was responsibilities. To get a job was the next thing on the list & Oh yeah! got a job. Now when I recline on the squishy chairs & stare at the monitor while sipping on steaming coffee; I feel I am missing something. Have I ever taken time to reflect if this was the life I had dreamt to have? More than a decade of mentoring at school & four years at college, that too in a different stream; does it worth it? after all. Did I swim against the current or is it that I yielded to the flow that washed me to this bizarre shore? am I feeling so trapped in a dream of somebody else. Now the past seems to be a fable. Present is a blip on the horizon & the future is nothing less than a question mark! ... Now back to the same codes & bugs; after all it is the bread winner!

Friday, January 11, 2008

“Oru Rocket Vidan Pooya Kadha” : Main Project.

[.... 99% of the story is nonfiction & any resemblance to people living (or dead) is purely intentional ;) ...]

Let me take you a few years back through the lane that faded with time but bestowed me with many memories & experiences. It’s the college life & this event took place a few years back, towards the beginning of 2006. The New Year has blossomed with new life, dreams & hope. Time has drawn to closure of the ‘Happy Days’ of our life; but for many of my kind these final days at college where like the Judgment Day. Once out of college, people expected us to be either employed; go for M Tech or an MBA. But the past 4 years had proved that books are never meant for me.

‘Kaiyil oru jooly ella … athae samayam classil olla chila pillerkku Moonum Naalum Joolikal, that too in MNCs. College kazhinju erangumbole akae kaiyil undaairikunnathu Suppliyum Critiyum chertu oru kettu Mark-Listukal, poraanju collegilaePriciyum Management`um aadarapurvam sammanicha Memo`kalum Suspension letterukalum ‘ With such proficiency the best career we could dream would be to join a Political party & try out our luck. ‘Anganae Naatukarkum veetukarkum veendatha oru jeevitham Nayikunna kaalam.’ But there was a talk among our group (Vaali`group) that if we get to do a project in a reputable institution, then it is probable to get a job.

When the time came to enroll our names to the companies, luck was harsh with us; as usual marks were a bar. Those who had high academic merit teamed up for submitting the applications. We realized how it feels to be left behind & it was out of sheer frustration that the trio ‘Aby, Vishnu & Rahul’ was born; myself & Vishnu‘ve been together for mini project & we carried the legacy of presenting an irrefutable fake project last year, & this time Rahul was a replacement for one member of that notorious team. We filled up VSSC form; but no matter how we calculated, the aggregates were in no par with the ‘Buji teams’ so we dint even bother about further proceedings. Only a few seats where available & to compete with the ‘Bujis’ would no less than ‘Sreeshant challenging Sachin to taste his pathetic York!’ .As usual, there were a bunch of guys who remained stranded when the whole world moved on. Now what to do next? Someone told: ‘Aliya eeni charadu valikal ondengilae rekshayollu’. As per the advice; though by twisted means, we managed to get an opening into IISU (ISRO inertial systems Unit). Three of us where in ‘Cloud 9’ when our project was confirmed, the news spread among our Vaali` group that we‘ve been elevated to elite strata with the ‘Bujis’. Meanwhile we learned from our class that Harish’s group (a classmate) has also joined IISU for project... well, thus migrate one more to the new band.

The day came when we set our foot on the land which was once forbidden for us. The Gates of IISU, with soldiers clad in vests & Kalashnikovs; the frisking that we under went, gave us a feel that we where in some military zone. Though our intentions were to meet our guide; we loitered though the corridors & as our search progressed we encountered sights that would’ve astound many; intricate gadgets, mammoth servers etc but none of them seemed to amuse the trio.

Rahul : “Enthuvadae ethu ? oru color um ellello evidae?”.
Me : “eni athintae kuravumkuudae ollu, da ethu ladies hostel alla !!! “
Vishnu :.“avan marudae kaiyilae thooku nee kandallo ? Vellavalaeyum commentadichitu venam , vediyum kondu evide kidannu nilavilikkan”

We Bantered & moved along, but were interrupted by something weird but wonderful. It was a VLSI lab & through it’s glass pane we gazed in wonder to see men; all clad in white suits, hood, gloves & boots … it was for the first time that we were seeing it for real ‘Now this is awesome, we all said to our selves‘

“…Nook`Aliyaaa !...“ (for one sec I thought , ‘ethentha ashareeriyo?’); but that was Rahul’s cry! from the other side of the corridor. We turned to see something stunning; the astounding laboratories were in no par with the charm decanted from this one in front of our eyes! Yes, it was a Lady, but to call her a lady would be an understatement… she was an 8th wonder. Like in the movies, she was strolling (cat walking) through the corridor in slow motion (of course, she dint walk slow but we felt so). As she left us behind with out jaws dropped & mystified by her spell, we bounced back into the old topic again “Colors”

Me : “Enthairunneda! aa pooyathu ? “
Vishnu: “Athu , eviduthu kaari aano da ? ”
Rahul : “Kandal arinjuudae? aval north indianaa monae”
Vishnu :”Shariya , alavalathi malaylikaludae edayil yengane kittana, engane oru piecinae ? ”

After having spent some significant time in search of some more exquisite specimens, we had to conclude that what we came across was unique & by end of day we proceeded to see our Guide. A few minutes after we reached our guide’s dept room, the new character of the story turned up; a medium build, with thick moustache, he was a typical archetype of a Mallu hero: ’a poor fellow’.

In the Dept room:
Guide: “Ghan work cheyyunna Projectintae oru section ningalae kondu chaiyikkam aanu udeeshikunnathu”
Rahul : ”Nammal chaiyyam Sir, pakshae challenging aayirikanam ”
Vishnu & Me (Gave a cold stare @ Rahul)
Guide : “Pinnae ! its good enough… ‘Scatterometer ctrl data acquisition & processing’ It’s a section of ‘Oceansat-2’… Blah blah blah”. The briefing went for an hour or so, with a bunch of graph’ waveforms & diagrams; Rahul seemed to comprehend whatever the guide was explaining. His class was so magical that rest of us were literally falling off our chairs.
Guide: “Appole sambhavam ellam manasilaayi ennu vishwasikkunnu. tomorrow morning, be at my lab. You will get 1 month to finish it off.”
All: “Shari Saar!” (With an obvious tone of sarcasm)
While driving back home:
Me : “Dai , angeeru paranjathu vellathum manasilaayo ?”
Rahul : “Angeeru paranjathu vachu nookiyal Rocket nammal thannae videendi varum !”
Vishnu : “Ethano , eyalu kannadiyum fit cahitu etra neeram keetu kondirunathu ? manasilayilengil athu parayada, kidannu urulaathae ” & three of us broke into laughter.

We woke up afresh next day; we knew our lives where going 2 take a U-turn from now on. Though quite unexpected from chaps of our kind, we managed to be punctual. Our guide escorted us to the lab. It was quite a huge room packed up with comps; many electronic & mechanical gadgets where scattered around, among them stood ‘our last hope’ Scatterometer with its head held high. Once we got acquainted with our sanctum, our guide summoned us for next round of briefing – “Aaah Not again”, I wanted to shout it out loud.

Guide: ‘ethanu Scatterometer; it’s a microwave radar, ...he went on & on…’
Vishnu (whisper): “Machambi, Ee Sunaappiyil aano work cheyyendunnathu? Nadannathu thannae ! ”
Guide(good ears): ‘Ethil alla ningal work cheyyunathu , you make the simulations ; athu adyam work cheyyanam … pinnae baaki ’
Guide (Pointing @ a middle aged lady with horny glasses, standing across the room): She would assist you in this project; she has been working on the same project.
Vishnu (whisper):”Engarae poraanju aa Ammachiyayum sahikkano ?”

Once the briefing was over, our hopes sank; it was rather a dilemma whether we (who’ve never faired in Labs) could make it up to his expectations
Vishnu (to Rahul): “Samaadhanam aayallo ? mariyathaykku oru certificate oppikan ollathinu ; avante oru challenging project. Annan thaniyae erunnu ondakku ! “
Me: “Eda, entayalum nananju eni namakku kulichu kayaram.”

Though Rahul’s urge for a challenging project was a mockery; now it had turned out to be a real challenge. The project requirements where more than we had expected. The worse part of it is that, the Lady was developing the very same thing & to deliver the requirement before she does was a question of pride for us. If the contrary happens then it is going to be more than a shame, “3 guys loosing it to a lady! Not in a life time...“.We pumped up our morale; locked & loaded, the days ahead saw the ‘3 men army’ in action. But the lady didn’t seem to have much regard for the effort we used to put into the project. She made frequent visits to our desk to check our advancements .Knowing that it was not just a race against time but also against ‘that lady’ we had no choice but to slog,. For the first time after getting into we were sweating blood. To much of my disbelief, the whole team was toiling. Now we where in a position to hope against hope; but the sadder part is that the alliance didn’t last for long. We observed Rahul’s interest peter out gradually, from absent mindedness to unfinished tasks & recurrent disappearance (‘mungals’) b/w work.

Time went on, the final days where closing in; we were lagging ‘Indian teaminae polae avasaananimisham kondu kudam odaikkumo ennairunnu ente peedi’... until one day, at noon

Me: “Da Rahul evidae ?”
Vishnu : “ Aah ! evidae ondirunnallo etra neeram , chayakudikkan pooyi kaanum ?”
Me: “ee neerathu entha ottaykku oru chaya kudi ? vaa namukkum chaya kudikaam”
As we proceeded to the canteen we came across Hareesh
Vishnu: “Ha! Nee chathillae ? evideya ninte lab aara ninte Guide? ”
Hareesh: “Onum parayenda , onumae work cheyyunilla , pakshae guide Vedikettanu monae , oru ‘N!@n@ Thakur’; baa kaanichu tharam !”

Hareesh took the lead; myself & Vishnu followed him to the cryogenics department & he slowly opened the door for us to take a peek but what we saw there left use flabbergasted. His guide was none but the Northy lady who left 3 of us in a hypnotic spell the very first day. This time it was not her spell that stunned us, it was Rahul & he was speaking to her in Hindi! Yeah Hindi , neva in the worlds ‘ve I heard him speak Hindi ! “Is` port sae us` port thak ......... Ni@n@! eisaye connect karkae deeko yaar!” he was tutoring her how to connect the DAQ card to the server. The very same thing we had taught him the day before; “Eda Perum kalla!” I bet this was what, went thru back of our heads as we listened to that crook. He was too animated by the talk that he dint even notice us & as he pivoted 2 c two of his mates staring; he delivered noting but a typical clinical smile, to which Vishnu yelled with anger & jist “Piyae TUNE cheyyeda , avalu karinju pookum!” “Eni nee angootu vaa”. Thanks, ‘the 8th wonder’ didn’t know ABCs of Malayalam; she kept a composed smile when she saw two unwelcomed jerks shouting in her room.

Interestingly the incident not just solved the mystery of Rahul’s frequent disappearance, but also gave us a fresh reason to do our project. We studied not jus to finish off the project but were also waiting for a chance to tutor the 8th wonder. In the end, our hard work was paid off; our simulation worked flawlessly & the fact that the program given by the lady who worked in tandem with us for meeting the same goal was a flop, added to the sweetness of our success. Now the only barrier b/w us & the certificate was the project report. One month of acquaintance with our guide had left us with the knowledge that he is an idealist, so we had to produce some thing that he won’t reject. During the last days we came across some well prepared documents in our comp, authored by our very own Guide for the sake of his studies; as the saying goes “Leopards can’t change its spots “, the congregation of our devious brains resulted in yet another drama! And in the end as we submitted our completed reports before our beloved guide, with his work in our pages; the expression that swept through his face was an Awe which almost read ‘Odukkam ente nengathotu thannae rocket vitello , makkale !’ & when he scribbled his precious signature on our certificates, we where happy that to see our dream fruitioned & we had lived up to the notorious legacy our team had left behind the previous year.

Mo$T W@nTeD
                              Mo$T W@nTeD

B!tcH O` M!nE : A Poignant Rhap$odY

        B!tcH O` M!nE

She is my Bitch, she is one of a kind
She is no dame but she saves my day
Lust she knows & love she hates
She is the drug that addicts my brain

She has the curves,that steal my eyes
In blink of an eye she makes me blind
Name her a wonder, might be 8th
She is an angel to eyes but devil in disguise

In scarlet red she flaunts all day
While night falls she got no shame
In the light of the lamp her body glows
On her knees she gives a good blow

She is a Bitch who plays the trick
When on move she is witch on a stick
Like creepers crawl she holds me tight
She inflicts pain but she is a gain

After stroke of midnight I opened my eyes
Then I realized the glitch in her smile
Like a nightmare come true, the scent of blood bath
I saw shine of the blade & myself dead on the floor

...This Material is CopyRighted ©... - Aby Jacob -

A Poignant Rhap$odY

The Da`Vinci !n me : Divulged

I just gave some thought, whether or not to put up my sketches in here & the answer was 'why not?' For, a picture can speak a 1000 words. One yr of corporate life has offered enough mental scourges, a fecund source that spawned the writer, nurtured a thinker & nourished the artist whose work is noting but the flotsams of his mind that sank into the ocean of obscurity & each fragments bear the life the creator has bestowed in it!

Spitfires  Fly On My Wing$ - WW2 - Spitfires !


More than what I can take  $anctify

CrusaderSome things R worth Dyeing 4

D Slayers of Evil~self $layers-For a reason

Skull$kull Tribe

Grim Reaper Grim Reaper - Lemme` relieve Ur pain

Pain,Angish&DeathPain Personified

 Evan Puliyaa !'U Wanna piece o`me ?'

 I Come not 2 reap but 2 sow Death - D  Angel of Seals ! I ComE n0t 2 Re@p but 2 $oW De@th - D Angel of Seal$ !
...All Images are CopyRighted ©... - Aby Jacob -

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Bleeding Dreams

A hot cup of life, blended with poison
Each breath I take, Is with caution
Still breathing Air, intoxicated
As I closes in, I’m feeling perforated

Chained to darkness & hung up by Nails
The Beast is staring from portrait of mine
Eyes like bonfire, leaves its sore imprint
Canine so deep leaves the wrath within

The vulpine howls reverbs down under.
Guilt of my actions has no measure
Raptors are soaring, leaves noting 2 wonder
The rupture of passion has made me surrender

6 foot ditch, it shows up like nightmare
My soul is in panic. Naked & bare
Tombstone engraved with “Rest in Pieces”
World it gazes, while I bleed down to death

Fallen in Misery, Its’ at edge of a verge
Pain grows like Ivy, but nobody cares
My Mind is polluted, I just cant bare
All Morals eroded, where are the prayers?

...This Material is CopyRighted ©... - Aby Jacob -

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

My Experiment with Lies

The following anecdote is a scrap from my school day life as I recount it; almost a decade after the curtains had fallen for that drama. There was this age; When, I used to think that the progress card was the worst of all inventions man had ever made. Even the dirty Nukes were in no par with the physiological dent that this piece of paper could impart in a minor.

It was on 8th Standard, 2nd term & it was my new school “Loyola”. In here, exams were “no big deal”. Rather, these were a “way of life”. The weekly tests on Fridays were a matter of concern. For which, the preparation used to start from Wednesday, at the latest. It seemed to be a never ending process. Through out the whole term there were these weekly tests to deal with. As an add-on, came the terminal exams & on top of it all the luscious topping “the final exam!” was served. The exam time was never tension free; though it used to be a gamble. But there was no compromise for the adrenalin gust at the time of receiving those souvenir of our stupidity widely called as the answer sheets.

On one fine afternoon after a good meal, when the air was filled with frisk & hubbubs, the teacher Gayathri madam [known amongst us as GAMA] stepped into the class breaking its blissful sanctity of pandemonium. All of us stood staring at her as she made her way to the platform & took her seat. There was nothing unusual with her to steal all our attention, but this time she had those answer sheets with her. We guys looked each other & took our seat .Several expressions flashed through everyone’s face. Just like the variation in reaction of different metals to the same acid, the expressions on everyone’s face had its own reason. For some it is going to bring in a new feather in their cap & for some others it’s going to be the access token for their grades. There were a few rare metals that never seemed to react unless some miracles saved them from the “red mark”.

GAMA untied the bundle & started off calling the names. I, myself being roll number 1, had mentally prepared to be her first victim. But to my surprise the papers were jumbled. This time, as if to rub salt on our wounds she was calling out the marks too. My anxiety kept building up. Questions popped up from back of my mind “Have I failed? Is it why she has not called my name?” For a boy who had a fair academic track, a “red mark” was the worst sore that could be inflicted upon him. My tension rose in rhythm with each name she called. All of a sudden I started chanting prayers that came to my memory. As if I expected the ‘Supremo’ to work out a miracle. May be to change the marks in my answer sheet or to swap my answer sheet with some one else’s. A cymbal rang in my ears. Waking me up before I could end my prayers. It took me a second to realize that it was not a cymbal but GAMA calling out my name that retrieved me back into the world of reality. I rushed to her, jumped to the platform & literally took my souvenir from her hands. Wasting no time I came back to my seat n grinned at my pal sitting next to me & whispered “Reksa pettu aliyaa avaru ente marku vilichilla”. His response was a confused smile ‘the meaning of which I would know shortly’. I took a deep breath & both of us peeped into my paper. Oh GOD it’s the “RED MARK”. I scratched my head & looked back at my friend. It is now that I came to know the meaning of his grin. It was the prayers that I was preoccupied in, that made me deaf from hearing my marks when it was called & my attempt to stop her from calling out my score was in vain. We both exchanged a smile.

I’ve fallen short of 1 mark to hit the threshold of 40%.For the 1st time ever in my life the “RED MARK” has left its stain. GAMA was too stingy in giving us marks, but still I turned though the pages to see if there is hope left. I waited impatiently. Just as she finished the 'Award ceremony', I went back to her. It was not just me, but a bunch of mates were crowding around her. I had to wait for my turn. This time I badly needed that 1 mark. But all my attempts were turned down by her & in the end I had to work out my last number “win her sympathy”. With a melancholic aura I approached her, “Mam, it’s just a matter of one mark. Only you can make me pass”. Looking straight into my eyes & with a stern resolve she uttered “What makes you think that I should be merciful?” She seemed to question my blasé attitude. “Oh God’ It is a disaster! It is never going to work out” I wanted to cry. But I couldn’t “I’m a boy, I need to preserve my pride” “I said to myself.

I was left with this question “what next?” Being a truthful son; while I reach back home, my mom might put me through a check-in procedure even before letting me stretch or take a nap. She had her own reasons. She used to have a good time cleaning my room, but at times she came across some stunning discoveries like my History & Math answer sheets that had yielded to time & has metamorphosed by the toil of silverfish. This time I was sure it is going to be a testing task. If caught, it is going to be one big explosion. I had to sneak this bomb into my home safely with out letting out the fuse. It was not just the paper; I had to hide my expressions when facing questions about the answer sheets,it was a tougher job. I can’t carry it in my pockets. If checked, even the bag won’t be spared. By the end of the 6th period I had worked out a design to evade all possible traps. When the last bell rang at 3:45 pm I proceeded to the toilet where I carefully folded up the paper & slipped it into back of my under wear. I hurried back to the bus & took my seat. The folded paper was giving a kind of itch while sitting. Wanted to scratch but couldn’t. Sitting in the bus I tried out several expressions to mimic a placid face. By the time I reached my stop, I had perfected on my new mask.

Just like an actor on his stage, I entered home. I can’t act suspicious; being a ‘good boy’ would be the worst thing to do. So I removed my shoes & left it in the hall way, came to the dining room n dropped the bag. Grabbed the remote & switched to VH1. Removed my shirt, belt & threw it over the staircase railing in a manner that it slides & settles down where the railing ends. I started munching on the snacks kept on the table. Suddenly a voice from kitchen shouted out “Kai kazhukityittu kazhikkeda”. Thought my present situation calls in for obeying her completely, I should pretend as if noting was heard & wash hands only when the song being played gets over. After the act in the ground floor was over, I sluggishly climbed upstairs to my room. I took a good look around to make sure that none except the lizard on the wall was there in the room. There was a Bible on my table I slipped the answer paper into it. I was sure that it would be the last book to be disturbed from the harmony that it has found with the dusty milieu. But there was a slight remorse for having used the Bible for such an act .I yielded to it & in b/w the pages of my chambers’ dictionary the paper found its final home.

Days & weeks passed, I had produced many papers at home which had better figures. Each time I showed an answer sheet, the look on my dad’s face seemed to speak thus “I know the worst ones are yet to come down the line”. I don’t know whether it was my guilt that spoke to me so? The Christmas was closing in, so where the terminal exams. How long could as secret be hidden?
my alma mater 'Cheer Loyola sons ! '
After a few weeks, while dining at the table,

mom asked me : “eathellam weekly testinte paper kitti?”
me : “ Eni English matramae kittan ollu”[ with out lifting my head]
mom: “English exam adyatham ezhu thiyathalle? ”
me : “enta ? enne oru samshayam olla thu poolae chodikkunae” [looking @ her]
me:“teacher kurachu naalayittu leavilaa”

I still don’t know why I responded to her question in such a manner, but that was the best deceptive response I could’ve ever given her. The same kind of questions came up twice or thrice even after a days interval or two.

Weeks moved on, I got my progress card It had to be signed & returned before the Christmas exams begin. But how will I account 4 the “RED MARK” in it. Though I managed to end up with a first class, it is never going to be an excuse. I kept counting the days. The last day to submit the report card was up. I came back from school completely determined to show my report card & the answer sheet. After all routine habits, I went to my room & I searched the dictionary only to find out that the paper has disappeared.

“Yes! It has disappeared”. “God! what‘ve you done to me? I asked for a miracle to save me, you could’ve done the same work when the paper was with GAMA”. Now things are going to get even worse. I searched everywhere but the search had to be discreet or else parents might smell some thing fishy. That was a dreadful night. The next day I woke up, got dressed up for school. I searched for the paper again, but it was of no use. On the break fast table, Mom served the food & while going back to kitchen she asked “entahda vallathe erikunnae ? [for which I had no answer] aaharam kazhichukazhinju ee chaya kudichitu poo”. After having food, I went to the kitchen for tea, on my way back, while crossing the dining table some thing stole my eye. “Is it that? Yes it is “I took a closer look it was my answer paper but I found not just the “RED MARK” but a familiar handwriting. It was my dad’s signature!

With an embarrassing smile, I walked to the door.“ente monu abhinayam theerae vasham ella, alle ?” That was my dad showering his arrows of victory over me! . After that incident neither did I hide any papers nor win a “RED MARK”, but felt free to toss the papers over to the dining table no matter what figures it bore.