Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Mallu $pirit !

A recently declassified NASA’s X-file reported that when ‘Neil Armstrong’ set his foot on moon, he was bowled over by ‘Mr.Kuttapan’ who offered Neil a ‘chaya’ brewed at his ‘chayakkada’.Until this date, Kuttapan’s pedigree is the only available citation with NASA for the existence of life in outer space. Rumor has it that Kuttapan’s forefather Chandran (may be that’s the reason why moon is called ‘Chandran’ in malayalam) had immigrated to the new domicile when the British East India Company’s colonization grew to intolerable heights. It is true that there is a Mallu in every nook of this universe where life can exist & not to mention that we hug on to our formidable culture; no matter what it takes.Apparently our culture & arts have charmed many enthusiasts & that is the raison d'être for this post.
Quite recently my colleague queried about Kerala’s culture & art forms
*gasp!!!* - *choke!!!* I gave it a thought & said ‘Kadhakali, Karalipayattu & Vallamkali’.

Kadhakali – a theatrical art from Kerala

Karalipayattu – Martial art form of Kerala

Vallamkali – Snake boat racing, Kerala

But it took me a second to understand that her intention was to brag about her state’s art & culture. Her explaination about some Punjabi art forms, sounded as though Punjab is a distant cousin & that they are in no way behind the ‘Gods own country’. Now the need to come up with some counterpoint became a must. Then, like a revelation it came to my tongue ‘VELLAM`ADI’ [Art of boozing, & as a rule it turns into a carouse, Kerala style]& then for the next half hour I enlightened her with the details of this intricate art form. How communal the event is & how people muster around, thin down the barriers of cast, creed, age & color when booze is around! & how good a Government we have that patronize this art. It is said that there are plans to give subsidies on booze to entertain & popularize this art. The long queues in front of the ‘Wine shops & military canteen’ especially when Onam, Christmas or Ramsan is around is impressive. No matter what or who’s festival it is, we mallu’s rejoice & demonstrate our unity in diversity. It surely inspires the youth of the nation to shelve their petty differences! The legend has it that Kerala was reclaimed from the ‘waters’ [aka VELLAM – thus the name Vellam-Adi] by Parashurama’s Mazhu (axe) & thus the citizens of his ‘nation from the waters’ pay tribute to his great ‘Mazhu’ by practicing the elegant art of Vellam`adi & utter with pride “Adichu Mazhu ayadai !”.The fascinating feature of this art is that there is no specific time to practice this artform, preferably almost all days when the sun takes shade below the horizon. Feeling gloomy? ‘wash the stains of depression with Booze’, Heart broken? “It is a Superglue”, Happy? “There ain`t a party without It!” feeling bored ? “Gulp it! Than wait for the devils to entertain your idle brain!!!” & Once my description was over, the antagonist had her jaws dropped ,eyes popped out...

PS : My fellow patrons , the dialogues scribbled below might assist you to take a stroll down memory lane ;)

In cricket if the ball clears the fence it is a ‘SIX’
If the foot ball evades the goalie & finds the target, the audience yell “GOAL’
When you score in VELLAM ADI, you yell

“Aliya , adichu Fittaye”

“Adichu Quintaye”

“Sho!Adichu Konjaaye pooye”

“Mattam aayeda”

“Adichu Cone thirinju pooye”

“Knokout akkikalanju”

“Adichu Pimpiri ayirunnu”

“Vallu mathrammo? oru Vall payatinu ullatu undairunnu”

“Adichu konjaata ayye”

"Adichu oru bothavum ellairunnu" !!!*Puke* *Barf*!!!